Jump then fall.

I learned a TON about trust yesterday...

...as I jumped from a plane 14,000 feet in the air!!

A good friend an I decided it would be an excellent idea to skydive just a few days prior to our jump. Impulsive, yes. Worth it, absolutely. The night before I could hardly sleep. In my heart I felt a mix of excitement (I have been dreaming of doing this for YEARS) and nerves. I picked up my friend (still not feeling like the day was real) and drove to Chester, SC, out in the sticks. I was feeling anxious, but in the best way. 

God is faithful in the smallest prayers, even prayers against storms. It was a beautiful day. Blue skies and fluffy clouds. The perfect day to jump out of a plane. 

We got to Skydive Carolina, checked in, watched a video about the possibility of dying and signing our lives away, put on our jumpsuits and harnesses, met our instructors (thanks Doug for saving my life!), and boarded the plane. It took us a total of 7 minutes, YES 7 minutes, to rise to 14,000 feet, above the clouds, where we would jump. Still feeling a little anxious, I looked out the window, and instantly prayed for peace (and lots of it). My instructor was the best and I made sure to tell him multiple times of how great he was because...he was in charge of my life. He calmly reminded me what to do once we got to the door of the plane, pushed me across the bench, counted 1...2...3....

And out the plane door we jumped.

And it was THE BEST!

There was no time to think, no time to go back in the plane. It was time to fall. However, it didn't feel like falling at all. It was more like flying and floating all at the same time. During the free fall I realized how much trust I put into my instructor. He was in charge of everything...making sure I was strapped in well to him, the parachute, and all the other details I didn't really care to know about. I couldn't do a single thing to control the situation, it was all in his hands. It felt hard to breathe a little bit because you are going so fast, but at the same time...who really cares if you can't breathe well...you are flying in the sky...and that is awesome. I did not feel the least bit anxious, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace.

Then, my instructor opened the parachute, we flew up a little, and all was quiet and still. We were floating with the clouds and I was able to take in the beauty of the day. Clear skies, green land, bodies of water...and it was during this time I decided I wanted to become a bird and fly everywhere. 

I took in the moment and related the adventure to our adventure with the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, my God, my Father in Heaven. He is like the millions of skydive instructors in the world. He tells me what to do calmly, and I have to obey...because my life is in His Hands. He asks me to trust and sometimes I feel anxious but only in the best way. He asks me to fall and I fall in the shadow of His wings. He asks me to gaze upon His beauty, His creation, and I gaze in wonder and amazement. Following Him can be scary because many things are unknown, but He is faithful always and not one of His promises have ever been broken (Joshua 23:14). Life with Him is a thrill, an adventure. Sometimes it's hard to breathe in this journey, but then comes the quiet, the still, the peace. I have learned that I love to be in control, I think that's part of human nature, but I have also learned that I don't want to be in control. Life with Him is like skydiving, and it's beautiful. I am not in control, no matter how much I try. I surrender and He makes sure I'm strapped in real tight to Him.

Thank you Jesus for such a sweet adventure. You are my love, my desire, and I yield my heart to You when I desire control. Your love is better than life and I will praise Your name. Thank you for your faithfulness, Your grace, Your mercy. Thank you for calling me Yours and pursuing me wildly, fervently, and constantly. 

Amen. 

The livin's easy.

I have two words to say.

Summer. Rocks.

I love all things involving the summer. Such as, but not limited to...time at the pool, reading books, reading books AT the pool, hot weather, lazy mornings with coffee, and watching Disney movies as I babysit.

Tonight I persuaded the kids to watch the movie Up purely for selfish reasons (whoops). Tears well up in my eyes almost every time I watch this movie and tonight was no exception. I love the sweet little man and his sweet little wife. They love each other with a love that is unending and pure. I also love Russell, the boyscout who kills me every time I see his picture. Try to look at the picture below without laughing or smiling. You can't.

Russell is all boy and determined to get that last badge on his scout uniform. He is hilarious and carefree and tonight he reminded me of my little people from school.

The more I thought about those little people, the more I missed them. I have enjoyed the peaceful, carefree atmosphere of summer yet I found myself wondering what our students were doing and if they were also enjoying their summer. 

A couple of our students mentioned not wanting to have summer break because they would have nothing to do. Many families travel during the summer or visit family. I knew this probably wouldn't be the case for many of my friends. Many of their parents, if they live with both mom and dad, are working and just trying to make ends meet. So, for them, summer meant staying at home because their parents or guardians are at work. Are they having fun? Are they getting the positive attention they need at ages 5, 6, and 7? 

I wish I could scoop them up and take them all to the beach. I wish I could squeeze them and tell them I miss them. I hope they are enjoying summer as a 5, 6, and 7 year old should and aren't being forced to live grown up lives. I hope they know their teachers love them, care for them, and miss them. Most of all, I hope they come to know a Man who gave the greatest gift there ever was to give. I hope they learn to call on His Name, to praise Him, and to give their lives to the One who gave His life to them. 

Father, thank you for my students. I pray their summers are filled with joy, rest, and fun. Ultimately, I pray they come to know You as their Father in Heaven. Use us, as teachers, to spread Your fragrance on Your beloved children. Thank you that You are sovereign, compassionate, and faithful. 

Bring Your children home to You.

Amen.

Set a Fire.

"Set a fire, down in my soul, that I can't contain, that I can't control. I want more of You, God..."

This lyric starts one of my favorite songs and a lyric that has become a recent prayer. Deuteronomy 4:24 says, "For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God." In context, the verse is in the midst of a passage talking about how idolatry among the Israelites, and us as believers, is forbidden. God is a jealous God. "He asks us to treat only Him - and no one else in all the universe - as God." (NIV footnote) The footnote goes on to talk about the negative connotation with the word "jealous". However, with God, "jealous" has a great connotation. He wants us to be devoted to Him, serving and loving only Him, because it is in this kind of devotion where "those who lose their life for Me will find it" (Matthew 16:25). I want this kind of life. A life completely abandoned to the One who calls me by name and pursues me daily.

This is where the song comes in. "Set a fire, down in my soul, that I can't contain, that I can't control. I want more of You, God..." A fire is consuming, burning, and uncontrolled. God, who is the epitome of love and all things good, wants to take up residence in our heart and become an uncontrolled fire down in our souls. Why? He wants His people to become head over heels, madly in love, with Him. This kind of love wells up from Your soul and can't help but become poured out onto others. Who doesn't want this kind of Love? Each of our souls thirst for this kind of Love. 

So Father, let this continue to be a prayer of my heart. Would you set a fire, down in my soul, that I can't contain or control? Father, I want to see more of who You are, more of Your character. Help me to  daily lay down my life for Your sake. Thank you that You are full of grace, mercy, and uncontrollable love. 

Amen.

Carpet Prayers

As a teacher, and for all teachers out there, I feel like I should start this post with...

WE HAVE TWO DAYS LEFT OF SCHOOL UNTIL SUMMERTIME!!!!

Hal-lel-u-jah!!

Two days left of my second year as a teacher. Seems like yesterday I was trudging through the snow and 500 mile winds up at Appalachian State. Time flies.

Anyways, like any teacher during this time of year, our school days have been filled with lots of excited little bodies, non-rule followers, extra recess, and movies galore. Yesterday we spent quite a bit of time outside, came in, and sat on the carpet to watch Reading Rainbow ("Butterflies in the sky, I can fly twice as high..." I know the whole theme song now.). They were actin' a tad bit outta hand so I decided we all just needed a few minutes spent with our eyes closed. You know, time to ourselves where we could all get our bodies under control.

As I look around at my little friends I see most eyes closed, a few eyes peeking to make sure they weren't the only ones with their eyes closed, and then one little friend with his hands clasped like he is in prayer. And what do ya know, homeboy starts to pray and I almost start to cry.

Dear God,
Thank you for school. Help me to have good behavior. Help me with reading and math.
Amen.

The kids sitting around him start whispering and one of my girls pipes up because she is clearly trying to go along with the prayer. "Shhhh, he's praying!" Next thing I know, half the class has their eyes closed and hands clasped in prayer in agreement with him.

And there I was, sitting at the front of my classroom, looking at this little friend praying to the God of the Universe. I will be honest, half of my heart started getting nervous and my eyes wondered to the classroom door hoping no one super important would walk in. Then my heart felt at ease and I was reminded that He IS the God of the Universe, a God that cannot and will not be stopped. Not only is His name I AM, but He hears the prayers of all people and He desires the type of childlike faith of this particular friend. All this little person was asked to do was to take a minute to close his eyes and the first thing he knew to do was to pray. Props to his parents for teaching about the most important relationship that ever has and ever will exist.

I saw a glimpse of what community should look like. Friends, peace, and childlike prayers.

This moment reminds me that my prayers, as simple and sometimes ridiculous as they may be, are always heard. Not only are my prayers heard but the entire planet's prayers are heard. He created each heartbeat according to His will. And that's purpose.

Father thank you for such a sweet moment. Thank you for this student with faith at the age of 5. I ask for this type of childlike faith and to focus on Your character when my mind feels unrest. You are God, I am not. Let me not fill the spaces of my heart with things I can do. Let this always be Your job to carry out, to fill my heart with all that You are. Help me release my desire for control, letting loose the reigns like a child relies on his parent. 

Amen.