Supporters

Throughout the week our classes have been thinking about reaching our dreams, big dreams. We have read many stories with characters who dream big and eventually reach their dreams, people like Michael Jordan and Chris Paul. Yesterday we talked about people in our lives who help us reach our big dreams, our supporters. We talked about what a supporter was, I gave examples of supporters in my life, and we talked about the stories we had read and the supporters in their lives. So by this point in the lesson they knew exactly what kind of characteristics a supporter embodies.

As a follow-up to the lesson they were to think of three supporters in their life, draw a picture of them, and explain why they are supporters. For me, it is easy to list three, four, five, six supporters in my life and I envisioned it being the same for my little friends.

However, it was not the same. I have 19 children in my class, two of them came up to me and could not think of three supporters in their life. Now, for one of them I am not sure he fully understood the definition of a supporter, however, the other definitely did. It was after these two moments, moments of heartbreak (two moments that just about brought me to tears), that I stopped the class and explained how their teachers would always support them in their future endeavors. I, we, support, love, and care for them and they needed to hear that, especially the two who couldn't think of people outside of school who truly support them.

It is in these type of moments where I find myself questioning WHY? Why, at the age of 5, 6, and 7, do these kids not know who supports them? WHY? I can come up with only one conclusion...this world is broken. This world is broken, yet the evil one, that son of a gun, has been defeated. Praise! And what are we to do, as a result? This reminds me of the Great Commission for us as believers...

¹⁶ Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go.¹⁷ When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. ¹⁸ Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹ Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Matthew 28:16-20

We are to "make disciples" and teach them to "obey everything" He has commanded. 1John4:8 says "God is love." We are to teach others about God and therefore, show them with our actions and words, all that love embodies. So as I question why some of my little friends at school do not have supporters at home, and I recognize it is because the world is broken, I have only one reaction. I am to love them and teach them through the love of God. And this will be enough. 

So as these two friends told me they could not think of life supporters, I hugged them with the tightest hug, looked them in the eye, and told them they always have supporters at school. I told them they are loved and cared for. 

My hope, my only hope, my prayer, is that they will be reminded of this and will come to know a Love far greater than my own. A love that spared His one and only Son for them. A God who always is and always will be their greatest supporter.

Let it be.

Open Hands.

One of my favorite parts of the day is my drive to school. Outside it's quiet, still, dark, and filled with time to myself. Sometimes the music in my car is loud and I am singing along, other times my mind is loud, and still other times I find that I am just listening. Yesterday was a day of listening.

As I was driving I thought about situations at school, my Dad in the hospital (who is healing quickly - praise!), and the billions of dreams inside my head. All of which led me to a vision of open hands. Not my open hands, but the Lord's. His strong hands. I was reminded that not only does He take our right hand and go before us, with us, and after us, but He also holds all of life's situations IN His hands. So then free will came to mind. He gives us the right to choose freely - in all aspects of life - yet still His hands are open. The Holy Spirit led me to this conclusion - it takes an aspect of trust to really place all of life's situations in His hands. Do I really, truly trust all of my life in His hands? When my heart is hurting or worrying and I start to question or doubt, do I really, truly trust? So I grappled with these thoughts and came to another conclusion.

Why would I not?

His character embodies all things good. He is the way, the truth, the life. He says, "I AM" and that is enough. I want nothing more than to place all of my life into His hands because He is "I AM." He is perfect in power, love, grace, mercy, kindness, goodness, patience..."I AM." In this I trust.

Father God. You can have the things I doubt, the things I worry about, my hopes and dreams. You are perfect and I am humbled that You would care so much for each aspect of my life. I ask for Your desires to be traded with mine, that I would live humbly at the foot of Your cross, wanting nothing but to sit at Your feet in Your sweet Presence. Let my life be a pure reflection of You so that others could come to call You Father as well. In You I trust.

Amen.

Madness

March. Madness.

Not only is it a beautiful season of basketball; at my school it is also a day of celebrating great behavior.   A day filled with fun, games, and bag lunches. And madness it was.

From 7:45 AM to 4:20 PM. Madness. I was welcomed with a "lovely" email (please sense my sarcasm) from an unsatisfied parent who I have been nothing but kind to, watched and helped organize chaotic games throughout the morning (some of which were hilarious to watch), and was then met with unexpected news from my family. Madness. Pure Madness.

Yet, I am human and days like this happen. Our days are like shifting sands, yet our God is sovereign and steadfast in His character. He hears the multitude of prayers I pray daily and feels the tears I shed today in the corner of my classroom as my Mom told me my Dad was in the hospital. And who am I that He would be mindful of me? Wow. That'll rock your world - rocks mine just thinking about it.

He cares for the details. I know He will show up in love towards this unsatisfied parent, he shows His uniqueness in my little friend's faces, and He will provide my family with the healing, comfort, and peace that He offers. He will. My God will because He cares, always has and always will, for the details. He cared about the details of Moses' life as he led the Israelites and He cared for Abraham and his wife as they anxiously awaited a child. He cares about the details and in this I trust.

Thank goodness He is steadfast during days of madness.

Father God. Thank you for days of madness. Thank you for teaching me pure trust and a need to hand over the worry to You. Thank you for remaining steadfast and sovereign through it all. Thank you for loving me the same and calling me beloved. You are good, always are and always will be.

Amen.

A year later.

Where to begin...

I am now a Multiage teacher - teaching Kindergarten, First, and Second grade and this is my niche. These friends, this age group, this is my passion. I love their innocence, their excitement for learning, and their funny laughs and quirks. They are called beloved. They are the Lord's delight and I get the pleasure of being with them every. single. day. Praise.

I wish I took the time to write down the funny things my little friends say and do - every day.

For instance, being in the middle of teaching math to my Kindergartners and seeing one of my girls take her  boot off and begin spitting, not just a quick spit, but the slow drippy kinda spit, right into her shoe. Who does that?!

Another time during Social Studies I begin teaching and all of a sudden another teacher walked in the room holding a shoe by the laces. The owner of the shoe (a 5 year old) looked up at her and exclaimed, "Oh! That's my shoe!" Never mind the fact that he had just walked across the hallway and sat down on the carpet...and still did not realize he was wearing only one shoe. A day in the life of a kindergartner - so carefree and void of all worry.

So many other hilarious moments have happened this year. This season has been glorious. So full of compassion and faithfulness from a God that has not ever and will not ever change in His perfect character. Looking back, last year was filled with trial after trial after trial yet full of a strength and will to go on that was not my own. While this year has been glorious, there have still been times of testing. Each time the Lord proves faithful.

I remember a specific moment from last year when a 4th grader, in anger and in a thirst for attention, called me a name that screams all things negative. The mother of all cuss words. He was instantly written up and sent out of my room but my confidence as a teacher was shot. I had spent two days a week after school, for months, tutoring and pouring my heart and soul into loving this same child and had seen a totally different heart. He wanted to learn, was respectful, and kind to others. How could he lash out like this? What did I do wrong? These  thoughts lingered and still linger if I really take the time to meditate on the situation. He yearned and still yearns for attention when I see him, now as a fifth grader, crying out for some sort of attention, most of the time it is negative.

Yet, he is just one. 

He is just one child in my school crying out for attention. I know in his heart of hearts he, they, want to feel approval, unconditional love, and acceptance. If only he could internalize that he has these things so readily available to him in a God who came entering a town riding on a donkey. A God of peace and restoration. 

Father God. Abba. Would you rock the world of this sweet school with a thickness of Your Presence? Cover these little friends and teachers with the knowledge that they are loved tremendously and use me as You wish. Father, let me walk in Your Light and let me not stray. Redeem these children in Your Name. Let Your will be done and let Heaven fall. Come, Lord Jesus, come. Heaven fall down.

Let it be.