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It's notes like these that remind me why I do what I do...
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Monday, December 23, 2013
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Precious Moments.
Little faces. Sweet smiles. Unique laughs. Lightbulbs going off. Excitement for reading. New passions for math. A God that reigns over all things.
These are the aspects of teaching that I have to cling to, otherwise, honestly I would just lose hope.
Teaching in a school where substitutes avoid and parental involvement is scarce is without a doubt hard work. When you focus on the aspects that are difficult, it does not seem like you're making a difference. However, when those little faces light up and topics you have been teaching finally seem to make sense in those little brains, it all becomes worthwhile.
I may not be able to change 60 lives, 100 lives, or 200 lives. However, I can greet each student with a genuine smile and a tight hug. They may not have received either of those simple gestures as they walked out the door to come to school from their home, hotel room, Grandma's house, or foster parent's house. A simple smile and greeting. I can do that.
Or, speak words of love and life to a student who randomly walks up to me during a math lesson and gives me a hug with sweet, endearing brown eyes. He looks up and says, "I love you". I will absolutely say, "I love you" back, because I do. I love those little people and I pray daily my heart would be broken and wrecked for them. I pray my heart would increase with love, patience, kindness, and understanding, because they are 5, 6, and 7 years old and need grace and a gentle, loving touch. Lord, would you use me?
Or, to the student who immediately comes up to hold my hands, and is absolutely enamored, during recess. Maybe I choose to hold her hands a little extra longer and say a quiet prayer over her? She walks with a quiet, sweet spirit in small, torn black and red shoes, her coat dirty and starting to wear. Her braids were coming undone but now, since it was her birthday, she wears tight braids and colorful clips in her hair. She is beautiful. So, yes, I can hold her sweet hands a little longer.
They say students who need the most love ask for it in the most unloving ways. While this school is a place some people avoid, I will choose to love with all of my being. I will choose to walk through the doors knowing the Lord has great plans for each student. I will choose to teach meaningfully, smile, hug, and speak words of love. I will choose to dismiss the negative aspects and focus on the positive.
Little faces, sweet smiles, unique laughs.
These are the aspects of teaching that I have to cling to.
Lord, I love you. Use me as you wish in a place that is difficult. Give me new patience, understanding, and wisdom as I walk through those school doors tomorrow. This life is not my own, to You I belong. Thank you for making me new, for calling me worthy, for giving me grace. Help me to extend the grace I've been given to those around me.
Amen.
These are the aspects of teaching that I have to cling to, otherwise, honestly I would just lose hope.
Teaching in a school where substitutes avoid and parental involvement is scarce is without a doubt hard work. When you focus on the aspects that are difficult, it does not seem like you're making a difference. However, when those little faces light up and topics you have been teaching finally seem to make sense in those little brains, it all becomes worthwhile.
I may not be able to change 60 lives, 100 lives, or 200 lives. However, I can greet each student with a genuine smile and a tight hug. They may not have received either of those simple gestures as they walked out the door to come to school from their home, hotel room, Grandma's house, or foster parent's house. A simple smile and greeting. I can do that.
Or, speak words of love and life to a student who randomly walks up to me during a math lesson and gives me a hug with sweet, endearing brown eyes. He looks up and says, "I love you". I will absolutely say, "I love you" back, because I do. I love those little people and I pray daily my heart would be broken and wrecked for them. I pray my heart would increase with love, patience, kindness, and understanding, because they are 5, 6, and 7 years old and need grace and a gentle, loving touch. Lord, would you use me?
Or, to the student who immediately comes up to hold my hands, and is absolutely enamored, during recess. Maybe I choose to hold her hands a little extra longer and say a quiet prayer over her? She walks with a quiet, sweet spirit in small, torn black and red shoes, her coat dirty and starting to wear. Her braids were coming undone but now, since it was her birthday, she wears tight braids and colorful clips in her hair. She is beautiful. So, yes, I can hold her sweet hands a little longer.
They say students who need the most love ask for it in the most unloving ways. While this school is a place some people avoid, I will choose to love with all of my being. I will choose to walk through the doors knowing the Lord has great plans for each student. I will choose to teach meaningfully, smile, hug, and speak words of love. I will choose to dismiss the negative aspects and focus on the positive.
Little faces, sweet smiles, unique laughs.
These are the aspects of teaching that I have to cling to.
Lord, I love you. Use me as you wish in a place that is difficult. Give me new patience, understanding, and wisdom as I walk through those school doors tomorrow. This life is not my own, to You I belong. Thank you for making me new, for calling me worthy, for giving me grace. Help me to extend the grace I've been given to those around me.
Amen.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Box of Perfection
Well, what a whirlwind the past few weeks have been. My mind has been jumping and swirling in thousands of directions it seems. From principal observations, to report cards, to parent teacher conferences, to lesson plans, to new ideas that need to be implemented in my classroom, to just living life. Whirlwind.
Yesterday I felt a new sense of freedom and release from this crazy life whirlwind. I, along with many other women, were blessed to have a "retreat day" focused solely on resting and praying at the feet of Jesus all day.
Gosh, it was needed.
There were many focused prayer stations on topics like identity and freedom. Throughout the afternoon I heard a Whisper that became louder and louder. As I reflected on who I was I realized I had been holding the burden of needing to be "perfect" which, of course, is unattainable.
I have left school so many days these past few weeks carrying the weight of feeling like a failure, feeling unworthy, not good enough and not doing enough in the classroom, someone who makes a thousand mistakes in a day. I wanted to be a "perfect" teacher and I just cannot be that. Not only did this feeling of "perfection" carry into the classroom, I realized it was also carrying into other aspects of my life as well. Seeping in the depths of my heart slowly. I needed to be the perfect daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, and I just cannot be those things.
That sweet Whisper spoke gently. He said so simply, "Break out of your box of perfection."
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free." - Galatians 5:1
All of a sudden the weight was lifted. No longer am I to live in the box of perfection. I am enough. I do enough, I love enough, I try enough, and that is enough.
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
- 2Corinthians12:9
I feel a new excitement for walking in my classroom, which is something I have been praying for. If I am honest I have been dreading walking in the school building for weeks.
I feel a deeper love for my little friends. Tears come to my eyes when I think of their sweet faces, each one needing to see more of Jesus.
I feel purpose and I feel imperfect and it feels enough.
He has set me free from a burden that has been slowly bearing weight on my shoulders for years. He is King of my heart. He calls me daughter and He calls me "wonderfully made". He calls me enough.
Father, thank you. Thank you for knowing just what I need, when I need it. Thank you for trading my imperfections with your perfect love and perfect grace. I love you. I need you. Help me to seek Your Kingdom above all else as I walk through my days.
Amen.
Yesterday I felt a new sense of freedom and release from this crazy life whirlwind. I, along with many other women, were blessed to have a "retreat day" focused solely on resting and praying at the feet of Jesus all day.
Gosh, it was needed.
There were many focused prayer stations on topics like identity and freedom. Throughout the afternoon I heard a Whisper that became louder and louder. As I reflected on who I was I realized I had been holding the burden of needing to be "perfect" which, of course, is unattainable.
I have left school so many days these past few weeks carrying the weight of feeling like a failure, feeling unworthy, not good enough and not doing enough in the classroom, someone who makes a thousand mistakes in a day. I wanted to be a "perfect" teacher and I just cannot be that. Not only did this feeling of "perfection" carry into the classroom, I realized it was also carrying into other aspects of my life as well. Seeping in the depths of my heart slowly. I needed to be the perfect daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, and I just cannot be those things.
That sweet Whisper spoke gently. He said so simply, "Break out of your box of perfection."
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free." - Galatians 5:1
All of a sudden the weight was lifted. No longer am I to live in the box of perfection. I am enough. I do enough, I love enough, I try enough, and that is enough.
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
- 2Corinthians12:9
I feel a new excitement for walking in my classroom, which is something I have been praying for. If I am honest I have been dreading walking in the school building for weeks.
I feel a deeper love for my little friends. Tears come to my eyes when I think of their sweet faces, each one needing to see more of Jesus.
I feel purpose and I feel imperfect and it feels enough.
He has set me free from a burden that has been slowly bearing weight on my shoulders for years. He is King of my heart. He calls me daughter and He calls me "wonderfully made". He calls me enough.
Father, thank you. Thank you for knowing just what I need, when I need it. Thank you for trading my imperfections with your perfect love and perfect grace. I love you. I need you. Help me to seek Your Kingdom above all else as I walk through my days.
Amen.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Better than you found them.
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| Jesus, let this be a prayer of my heart. Amen. |
The past few weeks I have been reminded of a lesson I thought I had learned years ago.
I am not in control. I cannot do life by myself. I am not a miracle worker. Only God can do those things and I am not God.
Such a simple truth, yet, life becomes busy and my flesh gets the best of me. These past few weeks I would wake, dragging my feet, feeling the burden of the school day. Lessons to teach, assessments to give, phone calls to parents to make, and little people to greet with a smile at 8:15 am. Some days I feel like school is a three-ring circus, other days I feel like it's a boxing match and I am the punching bad. Yet, I have to remember those precious smiles, sweet hugs, and "Goodbye, Ms. Teddy! Have a great afternoon!"
It comes down to trust. When I try to do life by myself, ultimately, I am not trusting that the God of the Universe can handle my day-to-day stresses. He's the God of the Universe and He could choose to literally move a mountain or turn water to wine. Clearly He can handle an unruly 6 year old and a teacher who is in need of daily grace. He's got it. All I have to do is trust. All I have to do is call out a simple prayer to hand it over, "Jesus, I need help."
There is power in the Name of Jesus.
It's in that moment that the burden has been handed over and trust has been increased.
Jesus, I need help. Everyday I need You. Let Your Face be radiant upon mine so those little people see only the love that You embody.
Amen.
Monday, September 2, 2013
Life as a teacher has begun. Summertime was easy, carefree, and relaxing. For me, the first week of school was the complete opposite. Hard, draining, and rapid paced. I am baffled at how quickly I forgot all that teaching entails. If I could sum up the past week in one word it would be heartbreaking. The heartbreak that comes with teaching so many little friends from hard, painful, different backgrounds is almost overwhelming.
These first few days of school have broken my heart in ways never felt before. To think on some of my little friend's life stories brings me to tears. Their lives are filled with broken families, hurt, rejection, malice, and an ultimate need for new life. They are only 5, 6, and 7 years old, yet they have stories of many 30 year olds. They cannot comprehend the life situations they are going through.
This week I found myself asking God why? Why are these innocent children having to go through these hard, life altering situations? Why? One night this week, laying in bed, I found myself weeping over this question. Father, I know You are good and You love Your people with a love that is matchless, so why have these things happened to these innocent babies, why? My mind felt burdened, stressed, and full of worry for these children. Later, I would recognize this feeling was a result of a lack of trust in God and a lack of handing over all of my emotions and feelings. All these terrible things are results of darkness, the fall of man. They are not of the Lord.
The next school day I woke, got to school, and immediately felt sick. Splitting headache, nauseous, cold and pale-faced, unable to focus, kind of sick. Thank goodness for a team who is the most loving and knows the perfect remedy to sickness - medicine and Sprite - they saved the day. Overall, the school day was great, yet my heart still felt burdened. Later that day, 1Peter 5:7 came to mind, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." I was so quick to forget. So quick to forget that the God of the Universe sent His one and only to conquer death and take on the sin of the world. Therefore, I can cast all anxiety on Him. He cares for me. He knows the number of hairs atop my head. He formed me before I came to life. He cares and the emotions of this world are not meant for me to carry.
He cares for me and He cares for every other person on the face of the planet. He desires for His people to know Him, love Him, spend time with Him, and learn His word. He loves righteousness and hates wickedness (Hebrews 1:9). He hates wickedness. I can only imagine the deep sorrow God must feel as He looks down upon His people and sees the brokenness, hurt, and malice. I wept and had a splitting headache and felt sick to my stomach over one child. I cannot imagine the sorrow God feels over the billions of people feeling this same type of brokenness.
I hate the brokenness of the world. I hate it. People need to feel freedom. People need to know the God who has saved their life, who has brought forgiveness and grace, and who loves them like no other. They need to know.
Chains must be broken and the power in the name of Jesus must be spoken.
Last Friday, a couple of my little friends spoke freedom over our school without even knowing it. It was math time and at the beginning of the year a few minutes of the day is spent exploring different math manipulatives. A couple of our Kindergarten girls were working with pattern blocks and began singing a song. I'm walking around monitoring and all of a sudden one of the girls yells out (it was the 2nd day of Kindergarten and we're still working on raising our hands...) "Ms. Teddy, you know this song?!" The lyrics went as follows...
I responded with a quick, "YES, I do know that song!" and definitely didn't stop them from singing. They sang with their sweet, soulful little voices and proclaimed freedom over our school. Freedom from darkness. "For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God's glory displayed in the face of Christ" (2Corinthians 4:6).
There is power in the simple name of Jesus and I pray daily these dark chains and strongholds are broken over these sweet families and little friends.
Amen. Let it be.
These first few days of school have broken my heart in ways never felt before. To think on some of my little friend's life stories brings me to tears. Their lives are filled with broken families, hurt, rejection, malice, and an ultimate need for new life. They are only 5, 6, and 7 years old, yet they have stories of many 30 year olds. They cannot comprehend the life situations they are going through.
This week I found myself asking God why? Why are these innocent children having to go through these hard, life altering situations? Why? One night this week, laying in bed, I found myself weeping over this question. Father, I know You are good and You love Your people with a love that is matchless, so why have these things happened to these innocent babies, why? My mind felt burdened, stressed, and full of worry for these children. Later, I would recognize this feeling was a result of a lack of trust in God and a lack of handing over all of my emotions and feelings. All these terrible things are results of darkness, the fall of man. They are not of the Lord.
The next school day I woke, got to school, and immediately felt sick. Splitting headache, nauseous, cold and pale-faced, unable to focus, kind of sick. Thank goodness for a team who is the most loving and knows the perfect remedy to sickness - medicine and Sprite - they saved the day. Overall, the school day was great, yet my heart still felt burdened. Later that day, 1Peter 5:7 came to mind, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." I was so quick to forget. So quick to forget that the God of the Universe sent His one and only to conquer death and take on the sin of the world. Therefore, I can cast all anxiety on Him. He cares for me. He knows the number of hairs atop my head. He formed me before I came to life. He cares and the emotions of this world are not meant for me to carry.
He cares for me and He cares for every other person on the face of the planet. He desires for His people to know Him, love Him, spend time with Him, and learn His word. He loves righteousness and hates wickedness (Hebrews 1:9). He hates wickedness. I can only imagine the deep sorrow God must feel as He looks down upon His people and sees the brokenness, hurt, and malice. I wept and had a splitting headache and felt sick to my stomach over one child. I cannot imagine the sorrow God feels over the billions of people feeling this same type of brokenness.
I hate the brokenness of the world. I hate it. People need to feel freedom. People need to know the God who has saved their life, who has brought forgiveness and grace, and who loves them like no other. They need to know.
Chains must be broken and the power in the name of Jesus must be spoken.
Last Friday, a couple of my little friends spoke freedom over our school without even knowing it. It was math time and at the beginning of the year a few minutes of the day is spent exploring different math manipulatives. A couple of our Kindergarten girls were working with pattern blocks and began singing a song. I'm walking around monitoring and all of a sudden one of the girls yells out (it was the 2nd day of Kindergarten and we're still working on raising our hands...) "Ms. Teddy, you know this song?!" The lyrics went as follows...
There is power in the name of Jesus
there is power in the name of Jesus
there is power in the name of Jesus
to break every chain
break every chain
break every chain
I responded with a quick, "YES, I do know that song!" and definitely didn't stop them from singing. They sang with their sweet, soulful little voices and proclaimed freedom over our school. Freedom from darkness. "For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God's glory displayed in the face of Christ" (2Corinthians 4:6).
There is power in the simple name of Jesus and I pray daily these dark chains and strongholds are broken over these sweet families and little friends.
Amen. Let it be.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Thy Kingdom Come
Summer is slowly but surely passing by. While it has gone by fast, what a sweet summer it has been. I looked at a calendar a couple of days ago and was blown away when I noticed that this is my last full week of summer. My heart stopped a little bit when I realized I may need to start thinking about school again. I will miss summertime, but I can't help but feel real excited when I think about seeing both new and old little friends at school.
Each school year has and will always be different but I will choose to believe the most positive things for the upcoming year. "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1Thessalonians5:16-18) Father, let this be a constant prayer of my heart not only for school but in all aspects of life. It is a choice to rejoice in having a job that embodies a new adventure every day, to pray His Kingdom comes and blessings are shown throughout school, and to be thankful for each and every day no matter the struggles or difficulties that may arise. This is God's will, this is what He wants. To open and change our worldly, selfish perspective, to one that is focused and centered on Christ Jesus. Let it be.
Recently, I have been watching testimonies of famous stars and athletes from the website, I Am Second. If you've never heard of the website, it rocks. The people in the films are real, raw, and purely surrendered to God. Each person tells their story on how they came to know and call on Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior and ends with the statement, "...I am second."
Three powerful words. I. Am. Second.
When I think about those three words I think about the culture we live in as Americans. Our culture tells us and reiterates a mindset of success, control, money, and selfish pursuit, the "American dream". The "American Dream" says, "I am first"and it's all about me. It's all about being successful, working hard for my success, starting a family, making sure my children are successful, and then retiring in a nice, comfortable place.
Yet, Kingdom living says, "I am second". Kingdom living says this...
"But seek his kingdom, and all these things will be given to you as well. Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Luke 12:31-33
"But seek first his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:33-34
"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Mark 10:45
Kingdom living is more meaningful, more satisfying, more gratifying, than the "American Dream". It almost doesn't make sense. It seems upside down and counter-cultural because as Americans we are used to pursuing all things for "me, myself, and I". Yet, Kingdom living pursues all things for our Father in Heaven, Abba, God, Lord of Lords, and King of Kings.
To seek first his kingdom means laying down our desires, our wants, our needs for His. Lord, what do YOU want me to do? How can I serve YOU today? This life is not my own, to YOU I belong.
I. Am. Second.
You came to serve and give Your life as a ransom. Lord, let my life be a life of servanthood, a life of sharing Your Gospel with others, a life that is not about me.
I. Am. Second.
Father, let these three words be a constant prayer of my heart as I begin a new school year. My life is YOURS. I ask for Your perspective, Your eyes, Your heart, as I walk into school each day this year. Break my heart for what breaks Yours. Build me up as Your servant, laying down my life for Yours. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be down, on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Amen.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Worship.
Two of my favorite things are worship and music. Worship is reverent honor and homage paid to God. To feel deep respect, gratefulness, and adoration in the God of the Universe, the God who chose you to be his son or daughter, this is worship. It is intimate, it is pure, and it is not meant to become a show for others. It is meant to be a sweet time with you and the King of Kings. It is meant to change your soul for the better. Throughout scripture, worship is defined as something joyful and adoring.
Nehemiah 9:5-6
"Stand up and praise the Lord your God, who is from everlasting to everlasting...Blessed be your glorious name, and may it be exalted above all blessing and praise. You alone are the Lord. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you."
Daily I am humbled when I reflect on the thought that God has made the heavens and the earth yet still he chooses to be invested in me and all others on this planet, to pursue me, to call me by name, even when I am unfaithful. WHAT?! It doesn't make sense. Yet, this is love. "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
That is why I worship.
"All I Am" by Phil Wickham is a song with beautiful, prayerful lyrics. A song that is worshipful and heartfelt.
"Take these hands, I know they're empty but with You they can be used for beauty in Your perfect plan, all I am is Yours"
Father, use my hands as You wish. Would you use them for giving rather than receiving, making ashes rise to beauty. Let them be hands of prayer, hugs, and a gentle touch to the poor and powerless. I don't have much to offer but all I am is Yours. Do as You wish, Jesus.
"Take these feet, I know they stumble but You use the weak, You use the humble so please use me, all I am is Yours"
Father, my feet are really good at stumbling. Let them become feet that carry the Gospel wherever I go, whether it's at the grocery store or across the world, let them always carry Your Story. I am incredibly weak, "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2Corinthians12:9
"I give You all my life, I'm letting it go, A living sacrifice no longer my own, all I am is Yours, all I am is Yours"
Father, let my life be a living sacrifice. Let it not be full of selfish desires but let me seek Your Kingdom above all else (Matthew 6:33).
"Take this heart, set it on fire shine it in the dark, I wanna tell the world of who You are, all I am is Yours"
Lord, I do not want Your light to be hidden. Set this heart of mine on fire, blazing through darkness. You know my heart and desire for adventure. Take me wherever You want. Where You lead, I will follow. I ask for more confidence, fearlessness, and trust in You.
"...I give You everything, to You I belong, every beat of my heart the breath in my lungs, all I am is Yours, all I am is Yours...I lift my hands up, God I surrender, all that I am for Your glory, Your honor, Your faith, I lift my hands up, God I surrender to You..."
Father, I surrender to You. I surrender to You in the morning, throughout the day, and when I lay my head down at night. All I am is Yours.
Amen.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Jump then fall.
I learned a TON about trust yesterday...
...as I jumped from a plane 14,000 feet in the air!!
A good friend an I decided it would be an excellent idea to skydive just a few days prior to our jump. Impulsive, yes. Worth it, absolutely. The night before I could hardly sleep. In my heart I felt a mix of excitement (I have been dreaming of doing this for YEARS) and nerves. I picked up my friend (still not feeling like the day was real) and drove to Chester, SC, out in the sticks. I was feeling anxious, but in the best way.
God is faithful in the smallest prayers, even prayers against storms. It was a beautiful day. Blue skies and fluffy clouds. The perfect day to jump out of a plane.
We got to Skydive Carolina, checked in, watched a video about the possibility of dying and signing our lives away, put on our jumpsuits and harnesses, met our instructors (thanks Doug for saving my life!), and boarded the plane. It took us a total of 7 minutes, YES 7 minutes, to rise to 14,000 feet, above the clouds, where we would jump. Still feeling a little anxious, I looked out the window, and instantly prayed for peace (and lots of it). My instructor was the best and I made sure to tell him multiple times of how great he was because...he was in charge of my life. He calmly reminded me what to do once we got to the door of the plane, pushed me across the bench, counted 1...2...3....
And out the plane door we jumped.
And it was THE BEST!
There was no time to think, no time to go back in the plane. It was time to fall. However, it didn't feel like falling at all. It was more like flying and floating all at the same time. During the free fall I realized how much trust I put into my instructor. He was in charge of everything...making sure I was strapped in well to him, the parachute, and all the other details I didn't really care to know about. I couldn't do a single thing to control the situation, it was all in his hands. It felt hard to breathe a little bit because you are going so fast, but at the same time...who really cares if you can't breathe well...you are flying in the sky...and that is awesome. I did not feel the least bit anxious, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace.
Then, my instructor opened the parachute, we flew up a little, and all was quiet and still. We were floating with the clouds and I was able to take in the beauty of the day. Clear skies, green land, bodies of water...and it was during this time I decided I wanted to become a bird and fly everywhere.
I took in the moment and related the adventure to our adventure with the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, my God, my Father in Heaven. He is like the millions of skydive instructors in the world. He tells me what to do calmly, and I have to obey...because my life is in His Hands. He asks me to trust and sometimes I feel anxious but only in the best way. He asks me to fall and I fall in the shadow of His wings. He asks me to gaze upon His beauty, His creation, and I gaze in wonder and amazement. Following Him can be scary because many things are unknown, but He is faithful always and not one of His promises have ever been broken (Joshua 23:14). Life with Him is a thrill, an adventure. Sometimes it's hard to breathe in this journey, but then comes the quiet, the still, the peace. I have learned that I love to be in control, I think that's part of human nature, but I have also learned that I don't want to be in control. Life with Him is like skydiving, and it's beautiful. I am not in control, no matter how much I try. I surrender and He makes sure I'm strapped in real tight to Him.
Thank you Jesus for such a sweet adventure. You are my love, my desire, and I yield my heart to You when I desire control. Your love is better than life and I will praise Your name. Thank you for your faithfulness, Your grace, Your mercy. Thank you for calling me Yours and pursuing me wildly, fervently, and constantly.
Amen.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
The livin's easy.
I have two words to say.
Summer. Rocks.
I love all things involving the summer. Such as, but not limited to...time at the pool, reading books, reading books AT the pool, hot weather, lazy mornings with coffee, and watching Disney movies as I babysit.
Tonight I persuaded the kids to watch the movie Up purely for selfish reasons (whoops). Tears well up in my eyes almost every time I watch this movie and tonight was no exception. I love the sweet little man and his sweet little wife. They love each other with a love that is unending and pure. I also love Russell, the boyscout who kills me every time I see his picture. Try to look at the picture below without laughing or smiling. You can't.
Summer. Rocks.
I love all things involving the summer. Such as, but not limited to...time at the pool, reading books, reading books AT the pool, hot weather, lazy mornings with coffee, and watching Disney movies as I babysit.
Tonight I persuaded the kids to watch the movie Up purely for selfish reasons (whoops). Tears well up in my eyes almost every time I watch this movie and tonight was no exception. I love the sweet little man and his sweet little wife. They love each other with a love that is unending and pure. I also love Russell, the boyscout who kills me every time I see his picture. Try to look at the picture below without laughing or smiling. You can't.
Russell is all boy and determined to get that last badge on his scout uniform. He is hilarious and carefree and tonight he reminded me of my little people from school.
The more I thought about those little people, the more I missed them. I have enjoyed the peaceful, carefree atmosphere of summer yet I found myself wondering what our students were doing and if they were also enjoying their summer.
A couple of our students mentioned not wanting to have summer break because they would have nothing to do. Many families travel during the summer or visit family. I knew this probably wouldn't be the case for many of my friends. Many of their parents, if they live with both mom and dad, are working and just trying to make ends meet. So, for them, summer meant staying at home because their parents or guardians are at work. Are they having fun? Are they getting the positive attention they need at ages 5, 6, and 7?
I wish I could scoop them up and take them all to the beach. I wish I could squeeze them and tell them I miss them. I hope they are enjoying summer as a 5, 6, and 7 year old should and aren't being forced to live grown up lives. I hope they know their teachers love them, care for them, and miss them. Most of all, I hope they come to know a Man who gave the greatest gift there ever was to give. I hope they learn to call on His Name, to praise Him, and to give their lives to the One who gave His life to them.
Father, thank you for my students. I pray their summers are filled with joy, rest, and fun. Ultimately, I pray they come to know You as their Father in Heaven. Use us, as teachers, to spread Your fragrance on Your beloved children. Thank you that You are sovereign, compassionate, and faithful.
Bring Your children home to You.
Amen.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Set a Fire.
"Set a fire, down in my soul, that I can't contain, that I can't control. I want more of You, God..."
This lyric starts one of my favorite songs and a lyric that has become a recent prayer. Deuteronomy 4:24 says, "For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God." In context, the verse is in the midst of a passage talking about how idolatry among the Israelites, and us as believers, is forbidden. God is a jealous God. "He asks us to treat only Him - and no one else in all the universe - as God." (NIV footnote) The footnote goes on to talk about the negative connotation with the word "jealous". However, with God, "jealous" has a great connotation. He wants us to be devoted to Him, serving and loving only Him, because it is in this kind of devotion where "those who lose their life for Me will find it" (Matthew 16:25). I want this kind of life. A life completely abandoned to the One who calls me by name and pursues me daily.
This is where the song comes in. "Set a fire, down in my soul, that I can't contain, that I can't control. I want more of You, God..." A fire is consuming, burning, and uncontrolled. God, who is the epitome of love and all things good, wants to take up residence in our heart and become an uncontrolled fire down in our souls. Why? He wants His people to become head over heels, madly in love, with Him. This kind of love wells up from Your soul and can't help but become poured out onto others. Who doesn't want this kind of Love? Each of our souls thirst for this kind of Love.
So Father, let this continue to be a prayer of my heart. Would you set a fire, down in my soul, that I can't contain or control? Father, I want to see more of who You are, more of Your character. Help me to daily lay down my life for Your sake. Thank you that You are full of grace, mercy, and uncontrollable love.
Amen.
This lyric starts one of my favorite songs and a lyric that has become a recent prayer. Deuteronomy 4:24 says, "For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God." In context, the verse is in the midst of a passage talking about how idolatry among the Israelites, and us as believers, is forbidden. God is a jealous God. "He asks us to treat only Him - and no one else in all the universe - as God." (NIV footnote) The footnote goes on to talk about the negative connotation with the word "jealous". However, with God, "jealous" has a great connotation. He wants us to be devoted to Him, serving and loving only Him, because it is in this kind of devotion where "those who lose their life for Me will find it" (Matthew 16:25). I want this kind of life. A life completely abandoned to the One who calls me by name and pursues me daily.
This is where the song comes in. "Set a fire, down in my soul, that I can't contain, that I can't control. I want more of You, God..." A fire is consuming, burning, and uncontrolled. God, who is the epitome of love and all things good, wants to take up residence in our heart and become an uncontrolled fire down in our souls. Why? He wants His people to become head over heels, madly in love, with Him. This kind of love wells up from Your soul and can't help but become poured out onto others. Who doesn't want this kind of Love? Each of our souls thirst for this kind of Love.
So Father, let this continue to be a prayer of my heart. Would you set a fire, down in my soul, that I can't contain or control? Father, I want to see more of who You are, more of Your character. Help me to daily lay down my life for Your sake. Thank you that You are full of grace, mercy, and uncontrollable love.
Amen.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Carpet Prayers
As a teacher, and for all teachers out there, I feel like I should start this post with...
WE HAVE TWO DAYS LEFT OF SCHOOL UNTIL SUMMERTIME!!!!
Hal-lel-u-jah!!
Two days left of my second year as a teacher. Seems like yesterday I was trudging through the snow and 500 mile winds up at Appalachian State. Time flies.
Anyways, like any teacher during this time of year, our school days have been filled with lots of excited little bodies, non-rule followers, extra recess, and movies galore. Yesterday we spent quite a bit of time outside, came in, and sat on the carpet to watch Reading Rainbow ("Butterflies in the sky, I can fly twice as high..." I know the whole theme song now.). They were actin' a tad bit outta hand so I decided we all just needed a few minutes spent with our eyes closed. You know, time to ourselves where we could all get our bodies under control.
As I look around at my little friends I see most eyes closed, a few eyes peeking to make sure they weren't the only ones with their eyes closed, and then one little friend with his hands clasped like he is in prayer. And what do ya know, homeboy starts to pray and I almost start to cry.
Dear God,
Thank you for school. Help me to have good behavior. Help me with reading and math.
Amen.
The kids sitting around him start whispering and one of my girls pipes up because she is clearly trying to go along with the prayer. "Shhhh, he's praying!" Next thing I know, half the class has their eyes closed and hands clasped in prayer in agreement with him.
And there I was, sitting at the front of my classroom, looking at this little friend praying to the God of the Universe. I will be honest, half of my heart started getting nervous and my eyes wondered to the classroom door hoping no one super important would walk in. Then my heart felt at ease and I was reminded that He IS the God of the Universe, a God that cannot and will not be stopped. Not only is His name I AM, but He hears the prayers of all people and He desires the type of childlike faith of this particular friend. All this little person was asked to do was to take a minute to close his eyes and the first thing he knew to do was to pray. Props to his parents for teaching about the most important relationship that ever has and ever will exist.
I saw a glimpse of what community should look like. Friends, peace, and childlike prayers.
This moment reminds me that my prayers, as simple and sometimes ridiculous as they may be, are always heard. Not only are my prayers heard but the entire planet's prayers are heard. He created each heartbeat according to His will. And that's purpose.
Father thank you for such a sweet moment. Thank you for this student with faith at the age of 5. I ask for this type of childlike faith and to focus on Your character when my mind feels unrest. You are God, I am not. Let me not fill the spaces of my heart with things I can do. Let this always be Your job to carry out, to fill my heart with all that You are. Help me release my desire for control, letting loose the reigns like a child relies on his parent.
Amen.
WE HAVE TWO DAYS LEFT OF SCHOOL UNTIL SUMMERTIME!!!!
Hal-lel-u-jah!!
Two days left of my second year as a teacher. Seems like yesterday I was trudging through the snow and 500 mile winds up at Appalachian State. Time flies.
Anyways, like any teacher during this time of year, our school days have been filled with lots of excited little bodies, non-rule followers, extra recess, and movies galore. Yesterday we spent quite a bit of time outside, came in, and sat on the carpet to watch Reading Rainbow ("Butterflies in the sky, I can fly twice as high..." I know the whole theme song now.). They were actin' a tad bit outta hand so I decided we all just needed a few minutes spent with our eyes closed. You know, time to ourselves where we could all get our bodies under control.
As I look around at my little friends I see most eyes closed, a few eyes peeking to make sure they weren't the only ones with their eyes closed, and then one little friend with his hands clasped like he is in prayer. And what do ya know, homeboy starts to pray and I almost start to cry.
Dear God,
Thank you for school. Help me to have good behavior. Help me with reading and math.
Amen.
The kids sitting around him start whispering and one of my girls pipes up because she is clearly trying to go along with the prayer. "Shhhh, he's praying!" Next thing I know, half the class has their eyes closed and hands clasped in prayer in agreement with him.
And there I was, sitting at the front of my classroom, looking at this little friend praying to the God of the Universe. I will be honest, half of my heart started getting nervous and my eyes wondered to the classroom door hoping no one super important would walk in. Then my heart felt at ease and I was reminded that He IS the God of the Universe, a God that cannot and will not be stopped. Not only is His name I AM, but He hears the prayers of all people and He desires the type of childlike faith of this particular friend. All this little person was asked to do was to take a minute to close his eyes and the first thing he knew to do was to pray. Props to his parents for teaching about the most important relationship that ever has and ever will exist.
I saw a glimpse of what community should look like. Friends, peace, and childlike prayers.
This moment reminds me that my prayers, as simple and sometimes ridiculous as they may be, are always heard. Not only are my prayers heard but the entire planet's prayers are heard. He created each heartbeat according to His will. And that's purpose.
Father thank you for such a sweet moment. Thank you for this student with faith at the age of 5. I ask for this type of childlike faith and to focus on Your character when my mind feels unrest. You are God, I am not. Let me not fill the spaces of my heart with things I can do. Let this always be Your job to carry out, to fill my heart with all that You are. Help me release my desire for control, letting loose the reigns like a child relies on his parent.
Amen.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Rest.
I don't really remember driving to school this morning (sorry Mama...). My brain felt foggy, eyes felt heavy, and coffee wasn't working. Exhaustion. It's not like I went on crazy adventures this past weekend, which would have made for a better story, but I have come to the conclusion that my body just needs rest. Pure, simple, rest. The sleep kind of rest and the spiritual kind of rest.
To rest at the feet of Jesus. This is what I need, this is what I have, with discipline, daily. Resting at the feet of Jesus produces peace and hope. A peace coming from the Holy Spirit and hope coming from His Word. When you rest all things fade away for a moment. Your body slows down (literally) and your mind is quieted and rejuvenated. Rest.
As I rest in Jesus I see a picture of hands letting go of reigns, the weight of the world lifted, and chains broken. It's not about me when I rest in Jesus. Nor will it ever be. I am but a backstage worker in His show.
As I rest in Jesus my fears are traded with confidence, unrest is traded with peace, and my heart is filled with a Love that overflows. As I rest in Jesus I don't have to worry about what's ahead and don't have to worry about if I am fulfilling the calling He has on my life. I don't have to worry because He says, "I AM". The Maker of Heaven and Earth, I AM.
As I rest in Jesus I find Divine purpose and a desire to want to do what He says to do daily. Yet, sometimes I find myself feeling overwhelmed. It's daunting to know the many different directions I could be led, yet not know a single one of them yet. What's my calling? What happens next? Lord, is this Your will? These questions are daunting.
I read an article this afternoon that correlates perfectly with these overwhelming thoughts.
To rest at the feet of Jesus. This is what I need, this is what I have, with discipline, daily. Resting at the feet of Jesus produces peace and hope. A peace coming from the Holy Spirit and hope coming from His Word. When you rest all things fade away for a moment. Your body slows down (literally) and your mind is quieted and rejuvenated. Rest.
As I rest in Jesus I see a picture of hands letting go of reigns, the weight of the world lifted, and chains broken. It's not about me when I rest in Jesus. Nor will it ever be. I am but a backstage worker in His show.
As I rest in Jesus my fears are traded with confidence, unrest is traded with peace, and my heart is filled with a Love that overflows. As I rest in Jesus I don't have to worry about what's ahead and don't have to worry about if I am fulfilling the calling He has on my life. I don't have to worry because He says, "I AM". The Maker of Heaven and Earth, I AM.
As I rest in Jesus I find Divine purpose and a desire to want to do what He says to do daily. Yet, sometimes I find myself feeling overwhelmed. It's daunting to know the many different directions I could be led, yet not know a single one of them yet. What's my calling? What happens next? Lord, is this Your will? These questions are daunting.
I read an article this afternoon that correlates perfectly with these overwhelming thoughts.
"It takes an extraordinary amount of discipline and maturity to live in today, walking step by step doing whatever I'm supposed to do today. It takes discipline to say "I don't know." It takes faith to trust in one-day-at-a-time. It requires me to lay down my desperate, freakish desire for control and trust He is at work.
He knows the reason I was made. If I walk in step with Him every day I will walk into the reason. Maybe I'm here for something big and meaningful, or maybe I'm supposed to pick up rocks so the tractors don't break.
My "calling" is every day." (Relevant Magazine)
Lord, help me to live my calling every single day, to be present, and to share Your Name every chance You provide. Help me walk in step with You. Thank you for calling me Yours.
Amen.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Psalm 89:15-17
When I think about this past week at school a few words come to mind: testing, cabin fever, weird schedule, changes, and discomfort. Sums up the week perfectly. It was another week and I will choose to be grateful for the circumstances. Looking back, I cannot say I was grateful during the circumstances, but I am a mere human and that is okay. His mercies are new each morning and I am a constant student of His patience, love, and grace. Now, that it's Saturday, I will choose to be grateful. Grateful for moments of impatience because the Lord has been incredibly patient with me. Grateful for moments of change because it results in producing perseverance, character, and hope. Grateful. Grateful for time with Jesus and time for learning.
"Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O Lord. They rejoice in your name all day long; they exult in your righteousness. For you are their glory and strength, and by your favor you exalt our horn."
Psalm 89:15-17
It's a learning process...
To acclaim means to shout or praise. The psalmist says, "Blessed are those who have LEARNED to acclaim you..." Just like learning how to tie your shoes. You don't just know how to tie your shoes, you learn. It's a process. It's a process to learn to acclaim Him. The Lord gives different circumstances in your life to help you acclaim Him. The psalmist also says "they rejoice in your name all day long; they exult (leap for joy) in your righteousness." You learn to rejoice in His name all day long. It's a process. So many times I find myself getting wrapped up in selfish desires...my needs, my wants. Yet this is not Kingdom living. Kingdom living includes daily dying to self, daily putting on the armor of God, daily acclaiming Him, daily rejoicing in His righteousness.
Why rejoice in His Name all day long? Nine words.
"While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)
Let those nine words rock your world. It has rocked mine.
When I meditate on those nine words I find myself feeling incredibly humbled, awestruck, unworthy, accepted, free, and hopeful. Those words are life. Those words are love.
Father, thank you. Thank you for being patient with me. Daily, let me sit at Your throne and be amazed. You are love, You are forgiveness, and You are power. Help me learn to acclaim You, walk in Your splendid light, and exult in Your righteousness all day long. You have won me.
Amen.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Reminisce
I had a moment of frustration today. Well...maybe many moments. It is towards the end of the year and of course the buzz word around any school this time of year is "assessment". Often this word buzzes in teacher's ears so loudly and so obnoxiously (or maybe it's just me). Yet, it is part of teaching and it can help to measure student's growth.
I drove home today feeling tired of testing and feeling like student's shouldn't be marked by a test score. I felt discouraged because some of my little friends did not perform as I had hoped. I felt defeated because I try my best daily and work my hardest. Now, sure, I could always work a little harder, but there are days where I am just plain worn out. So Lord, I ask for more of your strength and patience as I go to school tomorrow. Yet, still these kids are put in a box with a big piece of masking tape all around it labeled with their end of year test score. This is my rant on testing - now I am done.
Anyways...as I was driving home I found myself thinking about my little Kenyan friend who wore a sparkly, satin, torn, blue dress and broken, pink, glittery sandals. I held her on my hip for quite a while that day last summer. She was beautiful with her sweet little face and big brown eyes. Her smile was radiant. I asked her name at least five different times but never could quite make it out with her thick African accent. She created multiple braids in my hair and never ceased to stop singing her song. Her song was loud, clear, and repetitive. It went a little something like this..."Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say, again I say rejoice!" We sang this line together multiple times, over and over and over again. Our languages were different but our spirit's in sync.
This little one speaks a truth worthy to be spoken at school, at home, around town, constantly. To "rejoice in the Lord always" means to be glad, grateful, and jubilant in all circumstances...even during testing at school. Why? Rejoice because you are free. Rejoice because you are forgiven. Rejoice because you are worthy. Rejoice because you are loved with a relentless love. Rejoice because of His mercy. Rejoice because of His grace. Rejoice because He is living and active and dwells within us. Rejoice because when we knock we will find. Rejoice because He is with us always even til the end of the age. Rejoice in the Lord always.
Father God. Would you please shift my perspective? Shift my perspective to see with Your eyes, love with Your heart, and rejoice in all circumstances. You sent Your Son to die a murderer's death for me and that is enough for me to rejoice. That will always be enough.
Amen.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Did you know my favorite color is green?
Goodness gracious. Little people will wear the heck out you. They need constant direction, explanation, grace, and forgiveness, all bound in love. But don't we all? Lord knows I sure do. I would be runnin' around like a chicken with its' head cut off without the steadfast, guiding hand of God.
I have a few friends that wear me out daily.
One little friend in-particular, wears me out when he absolutely will not play a math game because he is not using his favorite color dice, which is green.
Or when he will not cut out shapes on his paper because he is not using his favorite colored scissors, which are green.
Or when he has to move his clip from "Green" (it's his favorite color) to "Yellow" (warning) because he has made a poor choice. Now, not only is he in trouble (arms crossed, angry face looking to the ground, stomping feet) but his clip is now hanging out on yellow rather than his favorite color, which is green.
"Ms. Teddy, did you know my favorite color is green?" I get this question almost every week.
The kid loves the color green. He has green shoelaces, loves Mario and Luigi (mostly Luigi because, of course, he's green), and pretty much any living or lifeless being that is green.
I will give it to the kid, he's got some downright passion for the color green.
All I got to say is this: I'm tryin' to have this kind of passion for my Loving, Compassionate, Perfect Savior. My little friend wants the world to know his love for green. I want the world to know, His people to know, this Love that has been freely given. This Love that surpasses all understanding. This Love that is steadfast and constant.
Father God rock my world daily. Bring me to my knees each morning and night, humbled at Your feet, so I could go and bring this kind of passion to Your people.
Amen.
I have a few friends that wear me out daily.
One little friend in-particular, wears me out when he absolutely will not play a math game because he is not using his favorite color dice, which is green.
Or when he will not cut out shapes on his paper because he is not using his favorite colored scissors, which are green.
Or when he has to move his clip from "Green" (it's his favorite color) to "Yellow" (warning) because he has made a poor choice. Now, not only is he in trouble (arms crossed, angry face looking to the ground, stomping feet) but his clip is now hanging out on yellow rather than his favorite color, which is green.
"Ms. Teddy, did you know my favorite color is green?" I get this question almost every week.
The kid loves the color green. He has green shoelaces, loves Mario and Luigi (mostly Luigi because, of course, he's green), and pretty much any living or lifeless being that is green.
I will give it to the kid, he's got some downright passion for the color green.
All I got to say is this: I'm tryin' to have this kind of passion for my Loving, Compassionate, Perfect Savior. My little friend wants the world to know his love for green. I want the world to know, His people to know, this Love that has been freely given. This Love that surpasses all understanding. This Love that is steadfast and constant.
Father God rock my world daily. Bring me to my knees each morning and night, humbled at Your feet, so I could go and bring this kind of passion to Your people.
Amen.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Blind Beggars
Throughout the school year I have reminded my students to put themselves in the character's shoes (I know this is teacher language but bear with me...there's a point...) Not only does it increase comprehension but it also allows for the story to come to life in a more personal way. Yesterday I read a passage in Scripture that really came to life for me...
Matthew 20: 29-34 "Two Blind Men Receive Sight"
As Jesus and his disciples were leaving Jericho, a large crowd followed him. Two blind men were sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was going by, they shouted, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!” The crowd rebuked them and told them to be quiet, but they shouted all the louder, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!” Jesus stopped and called them. “What do you want me to do for you?” he asked. “Lord,” they answered, “we want our sight.” Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed him.
I can vividly imagine this scene. Jesus is walking along the road, a huge, loud, crowd following him. The crowd was probably speaking Jesus' Name or talking about Him in some way as they passed the blind beggars. These men, not seeing, must have heard Jesus' Name. At the sound of His Name they must've known. They must've known and heard before of the miraculous healings Jesus was performing. They must've known that He was someone who would never be forgotten, someone who was matchless in power and love. They must've known He would have compassion on them when no one else had stopped for them before. They knew. They had a faith and trust in something they could not see, but they knew He was who He said He was. These men did not know Jesus from Adam yet they instantly believed when they heard. They instantly trusted and put their faith in His healing power. Instantly. They began to shout, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!" and when the crowd REBUKED them they shouted ALL THE LOUDER. They knew, trusted, believed without ever seeing a thing. And then the Lord answered them with compassion. He gave them their sight and instantly followed him.
He gave them their sight and I just have to wonder - what was it like when they looked at Jesus for the first time? Their first time seeing. I can only imagine the compassion, love, and acceptance in Jesus' eyes. I wonder if they were star-struck? I wonder if they started to weep? I wonder if they shouted for joy? I wonder if they fell on their face? The Scriptures don't explain what happens after they received their sight, it just says they saw and followed Him. They knew this was a man they did not want to lose sight of. Instantly.
Father God. Thank you for the example of faith, trust, and belief that these blind men showed. I ask for an increase in this type of faith, this type of trust, and this type of belief. Thank you that your eyes are full of compassion and mercy for your people. In You I trust. Thank you for loving me with a love that is steadfast and unwavering.
Amen.
Matthew 20: 29-34 "Two Blind Men Receive Sight"
As Jesus and his disciples were leaving Jericho, a large crowd followed him. Two blind men were sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was going by, they shouted, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!” The crowd rebuked them and told them to be quiet, but they shouted all the louder, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!” Jesus stopped and called them. “What do you want me to do for you?” he asked. “Lord,” they answered, “we want our sight.” Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed him.
I can vividly imagine this scene. Jesus is walking along the road, a huge, loud, crowd following him. The crowd was probably speaking Jesus' Name or talking about Him in some way as they passed the blind beggars. These men, not seeing, must have heard Jesus' Name. At the sound of His Name they must've known. They must've known and heard before of the miraculous healings Jesus was performing. They must've known that He was someone who would never be forgotten, someone who was matchless in power and love. They must've known He would have compassion on them when no one else had stopped for them before. They knew. They had a faith and trust in something they could not see, but they knew He was who He said He was. These men did not know Jesus from Adam yet they instantly believed when they heard. They instantly trusted and put their faith in His healing power. Instantly. They began to shout, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!" and when the crowd REBUKED them they shouted ALL THE LOUDER. They knew, trusted, believed without ever seeing a thing. And then the Lord answered them with compassion. He gave them their sight and instantly followed him.
He gave them their sight and I just have to wonder - what was it like when they looked at Jesus for the first time? Their first time seeing. I can only imagine the compassion, love, and acceptance in Jesus' eyes. I wonder if they were star-struck? I wonder if they started to weep? I wonder if they shouted for joy? I wonder if they fell on their face? The Scriptures don't explain what happens after they received their sight, it just says they saw and followed Him. They knew this was a man they did not want to lose sight of. Instantly.
Father God. Thank you for the example of faith, trust, and belief that these blind men showed. I ask for an increase in this type of faith, this type of trust, and this type of belief. Thank you that your eyes are full of compassion and mercy for your people. In You I trust. Thank you for loving me with a love that is steadfast and unwavering.
Amen.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Pour Out
Well, another rough day bites the dust. I laugh (kind of) because I asked for it. I asked to be refined, to be pushed, to be depleted of myself, all so I could be more like Him. I want that. I want to be more like Him but I am recognizing it is TOUGH.
Today began with a lock down (when the school has to shut down for safety reasons), was followed with one of my special friends throwing an absolute FIT (including, but not limited to, sobbing and stubbornness), and ending with another friend blatantly lying and refusing to tell the truth. Joy. Furthermore, my heart for the sweet little (and big) friends at school just hurts.
Yet, I asked for it. I asked, prayed, believed, that my heart would break for what breaks His. And here I am, brokenhearted, for these kids, these lost sheep that the Shepherd desires to find. God's heart breaks for the hopeless, fatherless, poor, weary, and lost. And some of these kids are all of these things. And this is why my heart hurts. I feel powerless. I am only one person and I cannot change the way these friends feel. However, God can. This life is not and will not ever have me as the center of attention. This is God's show. He makes the shots.
So Lord, I come to Your throne boldly asking for redemption, peace, structure, consistency, and an outpouring of Your Spirit over my school. Let it be known that it is Your dwelling place. I feel discouraged and have poured out my soul in prayer for these little people. Sure, I could pray more for them but I am asking Him, seeking Him, believing in His protection over the school, over these kid's lives. Holy Spirit You are welcome. Permeate the walls of the school building with your sweet aroma. Let this be enough to bring change, hope, and a desire for these kids to become the best they can possibly be. Amen.
Today began with a lock down (when the school has to shut down for safety reasons), was followed with one of my special friends throwing an absolute FIT (including, but not limited to, sobbing and stubbornness), and ending with another friend blatantly lying and refusing to tell the truth. Joy. Furthermore, my heart for the sweet little (and big) friends at school just hurts.
Yet, I asked for it. I asked, prayed, believed, that my heart would break for what breaks His. And here I am, brokenhearted, for these kids, these lost sheep that the Shepherd desires to find. God's heart breaks for the hopeless, fatherless, poor, weary, and lost. And some of these kids are all of these things. And this is why my heart hurts. I feel powerless. I am only one person and I cannot change the way these friends feel. However, God can. This life is not and will not ever have me as the center of attention. This is God's show. He makes the shots.
So Lord, I come to Your throne boldly asking for redemption, peace, structure, consistency, and an outpouring of Your Spirit over my school. Let it be known that it is Your dwelling place. I feel discouraged and have poured out my soul in prayer for these little people. Sure, I could pray more for them but I am asking Him, seeking Him, believing in His protection over the school, over these kid's lives. Holy Spirit You are welcome. Permeate the walls of the school building with your sweet aroma. Let this be enough to bring change, hope, and a desire for these kids to become the best they can possibly be. Amen.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Matthew 14:22-33
Jesus Walks on the Water
22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
I love this.
What a sweet example of Jesus' heart as well as His heart for people. Characteristics of Jesus' heart are shown as he sends His disciples ahead of Him so He could spend time by himself in God's presence to pray, be refueled, and spend time with the One who is ultimately His world, Lover of His soul. Truly, an example of how we are to spend our days with our Lover, the One who has marked a stamp of approval on our hearts because of the Cross. I want this kind of devotion. I need this kind of devotion. This passage reminds me that I am not my own, this life is not about me. It is only about serving God, dying to self, and spreading His unmatched Love with others. God says later in Matthew 22:37-39 to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your mind." and "Love your neighbor as yourself". These are the two Greatest Commandments for us as believers. Let it be that my heart is full of His Light, not hidden under a lampshade.
Jesus' heart for others is also shown as He miraculously walks on water to meet His disciples. They see this Man and are immediately fearful, thinking He is a ghost. I love Jesus' reaction - He immediately replies, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." Peter is the only disciple who reacts in faith as he asks Jesus to call him to the water. I can only imagine how Peter is feeling at this moment. Jesus tells him to come and Peter, full of faith with his eyes of Jesus, comes. Peter begins walking on the water yet loses sight of Jesus, takes his eyes off Jesus, focuses on the strong wind, loses faith, and begins to doubt. At this moment, Peter begins to sink. I can think of so many times in my life when I can completely relate to Peter. I begin with my eyes on Jesus and then all of a sudden I focus on the difficult things around me or lose faith or begin to feel doubt creep in...and I start to sink. Yet still, even as Peter begins to sink, he pleads, "Lord, save me!" and immediately Jesus reaches out his strong, able hand to save him. Peter does not drown, yet his faith is strengthened. "You of little faith!...Why did you doubt?" - Jesus. Even though the disciples had seen many miracles performed by Jesus himself, Peter still doubted. Peter still doubted, yet Jesus was quick to reach out His Hand to save him. Jesus always has compassion on His people.
What a pure story of faith. God will always be faithful. He will never fail. This Truth is what I cling to.
Let it be.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Increase.
This week, as hard as this is to say, has gotten the best of me. I can't even put my finger on what exactly has been so aggravating...which makes it even more obnoxious. I am the type of person who wants to do things well, and do it well the first time. I admit, I don't feel I have done my job well this week. I have lacked patience (which is needed when the people you hang out with are only 5, 6, and 7) and felt like I have simply been going through the motions. I have gotten upset with things that in reality aren't that big of a deal and have started many days this week feeling aggravated. Ultimately, I have been relying on my own strength and motivation. I, on my own, am just not enough.
Thank goodness for these simple truths:
*When I am weak, He is strong.
*When I spend more time in the Word, I have a greater understanding of God's character, am able to seek understanding and wisdom from the Holy Spirit, and am refined into who He wants me to be.
*When I spend time with Him the fruits of the Spirit in my life increase and the ways of the world in me decrease.
*I am not but I know "I AM." (God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM" - Exodus 3:14)
I have learned to enjoy the stages of refinement. For as a silversmith refines metal, I am being refined by God. A silversmith goes through multiple stages to bring the impurities out of the silver. He leaves the silver in the heat for just enough time before it is destroyed. He brings the silver out from the heat and scrapes off the impurities. Then, once again, puts it back in the heat for just enough time before it is destroyed. This process is repeated until the silver is pure and void of all impurities. Surely, this process takes time and patience for the silversmith. This is exactly what it's like to be refined by God. Refinement is difficult but in the end gives the purest results.
Daily, I am learning to give up the ways of the world and trade them for the ways of the Kingdom. Kingdom ways are not always the most popular and could actually seem crazy or confusing but I know I AM. I know I AM and know that His ways are higher than mine. I know I AM and know that He loves me with a love that rattles the universe. I know I AM and know He calls me beloved, beautiful, precious, and wonderfully made. For me, this is enough to follow Him. For me, this is enough to live a Kingdom life. For me, this is why I want to be the purest of pure. I want to be like Him, glorify Him with all my might, and be rid of myself because His ways are higher than mine.
So, Father would you rid me of the ways of the world and refine me to be the woman You desire. Rid my heart and soul of gossip and slander and increase my heart to become more understanding. Break my heart for what breaks Yours. Let my heart be full of compassion and let me be quick to love the "unlovable". Let the Fruits of Your Spirit increase in me. For thine is the Kingdom, the power, the glory, forever. Amen.
Thank goodness for these simple truths:
*When I am weak, He is strong.
*When I spend more time in the Word, I have a greater understanding of God's character, am able to seek understanding and wisdom from the Holy Spirit, and am refined into who He wants me to be.
*When I spend time with Him the fruits of the Spirit in my life increase and the ways of the world in me decrease.
*I am not but I know "I AM." (God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM" - Exodus 3:14)
I have learned to enjoy the stages of refinement. For as a silversmith refines metal, I am being refined by God. A silversmith goes through multiple stages to bring the impurities out of the silver. He leaves the silver in the heat for just enough time before it is destroyed. He brings the silver out from the heat and scrapes off the impurities. Then, once again, puts it back in the heat for just enough time before it is destroyed. This process is repeated until the silver is pure and void of all impurities. Surely, this process takes time and patience for the silversmith. This is exactly what it's like to be refined by God. Refinement is difficult but in the end gives the purest results.
Daily, I am learning to give up the ways of the world and trade them for the ways of the Kingdom. Kingdom ways are not always the most popular and could actually seem crazy or confusing but I know I AM. I know I AM and know that His ways are higher than mine. I know I AM and know that He loves me with a love that rattles the universe. I know I AM and know He calls me beloved, beautiful, precious, and wonderfully made. For me, this is enough to follow Him. For me, this is enough to live a Kingdom life. For me, this is why I want to be the purest of pure. I want to be like Him, glorify Him with all my might, and be rid of myself because His ways are higher than mine.
So, Father would you rid me of the ways of the world and refine me to be the woman You desire. Rid my heart and soul of gossip and slander and increase my heart to become more understanding. Break my heart for what breaks Yours. Let my heart be full of compassion and let me be quick to love the "unlovable". Let the Fruits of Your Spirit increase in me. For thine is the Kingdom, the power, the glory, forever. Amen.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
"They loved me fiercely, real fiercely."
Testimonies are powerful. They are real, raw, genuine, hopeful, beautiful examples of God's fierce love for us. This video brought me to tears - to see a pure example of how God brings His people back to him with a love that is immeasurable. Watch and be awestruck by the beauty and reality of our God.
"My prayer is that you and I would become more united and more like-minded with Christ, having the same love that He has. That we would encourage like Jesus, comfort like Jesus, have the same tenderness and compassion as Jesus. So that whomever we are with and wherever we go - if we are shopping or with our kids or worshipping or working - we will be like Jesus." - Heidi Baker
Amen.
"My prayer is that you and I would become more united and more like-minded with Christ, having the same love that He has. That we would encourage like Jesus, comfort like Jesus, have the same tenderness and compassion as Jesus. So that whomever we are with and wherever we go - if we are shopping or with our kids or worshipping or working - we will be like Jesus." - Heidi Baker
Amen.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Wide. Long. High. Deep.
So many times I've wondered if what I'm doing at school is really making an impact. Am I doing enough for my little friends outside of school, teaching enough life skills, giving enough grace, or challenging them enough? Am I doing enough? So I came to this conclusion: I will never be able to do enough, Jesus will do that, and THAT is enough.
The Lord reminded me of this simple truth. It is not on my own wisdom, strength, or power that I go about day to day life in the classroom. It is by His great mercy, love, and power that I am able to pour out my life onto others.
One of my sweet friends gave me a new book to read for my birthday (Learning to Love by Heidi and Rolland Baker). It's filled with examples of how the Holy Spirit is able to move through us and affect a nation for His glory. Hearts are being turned to Him and He gets all the honor, glory, and praise. Let this be the same in Charlotte, North Carolina. In Jesus' Name!
Anyways, this part of the book really hit hard with what I was thinking about in regards to school.
The Lord reminded me of this simple truth. It is not on my own wisdom, strength, or power that I go about day to day life in the classroom. It is by His great mercy, love, and power that I am able to pour out my life onto others.
One of my sweet friends gave me a new book to read for my birthday (Learning to Love by Heidi and Rolland Baker). It's filled with examples of how the Holy Spirit is able to move through us and affect a nation for His glory. Hearts are being turned to Him and He gets all the honor, glory, and praise. Let this be the same in Charlotte, North Carolina. In Jesus' Name!
Anyways, this part of the book really hit hard with what I was thinking about in regards to school.
"When your mind is too big and your heart is too small, you cannot get anywhere. You cannot fly, let alone soar.
"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
Matthew 17:20
Where does this kind of faith that soars come from? It comes from love, from knowing who Jesus is, from understanding what He thinks of you and realizing who He has made you to be. When you are in love you have power. When you start to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, you start to get full of God and full of the understanding that whatever He asks you to do, you can do; that wherever He asks you to go, you can go. You can live on the edge, because even in the darkest places, light is waiting there for you. His love, His light in you and me. Passion: It makes us unstoppable."
I love this. What a gentle, beautiful reminder that I do not have to be enough. I won't be enough on my own - ever. However, thanks be to God who makes me enough. It is by His love and mercy that I am enough. Daily I am learning more and more about His precious character. I am understanding what He thinks of me, and realizing who He has made me to be.
When I understand His love for me; His long, wide, high, deep love, then, and only then, am I able to be enough to my little friends at school. "...because even in the darkest places, light is waiting there for you. His love, His light in you and me."
Father God. Thank you for this reminder. Use me as You wish at school and help me to set aside my desires for Yours. Thank you for being the light waiting for me.
Amen.
Friday, March 29, 2013
Supporters
Throughout the week our classes have been thinking about reaching our dreams, big dreams. We have read many stories with characters who dream big and eventually reach their dreams, people like Michael Jordan and Chris Paul. Yesterday we talked about people in our lives who help us reach our big dreams, our supporters. We talked about what a supporter was, I gave examples of supporters in my life, and we talked about the stories we had read and the supporters in their lives. So by this point in the lesson they knew exactly what kind of characteristics a supporter embodies.
As a follow-up to the lesson they were to think of three supporters in their life, draw a picture of them, and explain why they are supporters. For me, it is easy to list three, four, five, six supporters in my life and I envisioned it being the same for my little friends.
However, it was not the same. I have 19 children in my class, two of them came up to me and could not think of three supporters in their life. Now, for one of them I am not sure he fully understood the definition of a supporter, however, the other definitely did. It was after these two moments, moments of heartbreak (two moments that just about brought me to tears), that I stopped the class and explained how their teachers would always support them in their future endeavors. I, we, support, love, and care for them and they needed to hear that, especially the two who couldn't think of people outside of school who truly support them.
It is in these type of moments where I find myself questioning WHY? Why, at the age of 5, 6, and 7, do these kids not know who supports them? WHY? I can come up with only one conclusion...this world is broken. This world is broken, yet the evil one, that son of a gun, has been defeated. Praise! And what are we to do, as a result? This reminds me of the Great Commission for us as believers...
As a follow-up to the lesson they were to think of three supporters in their life, draw a picture of them, and explain why they are supporters. For me, it is easy to list three, four, five, six supporters in my life and I envisioned it being the same for my little friends.
However, it was not the same. I have 19 children in my class, two of them came up to me and could not think of three supporters in their life. Now, for one of them I am not sure he fully understood the definition of a supporter, however, the other definitely did. It was after these two moments, moments of heartbreak (two moments that just about brought me to tears), that I stopped the class and explained how their teachers would always support them in their future endeavors. I, we, support, love, and care for them and they needed to hear that, especially the two who couldn't think of people outside of school who truly support them.
It is in these type of moments where I find myself questioning WHY? Why, at the age of 5, 6, and 7, do these kids not know who supports them? WHY? I can come up with only one conclusion...this world is broken. This world is broken, yet the evil one, that son of a gun, has been defeated. Praise! And what are we to do, as a result? This reminds me of the Great Commission for us as believers...
16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go.17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Matthew 28:16-20
We are to "make disciples" and teach them to "obey everything" He has commanded. 1John4:8 says "God is love." We are to teach others about God and therefore, show them with our actions and words, all that love embodies. So as I question why some of my little friends at school do not have supporters at home, and I recognize it is because the world is broken, I have only one reaction. I am to love them and teach them through the love of God. And this will be enough.
So as these two friends told me they could not think of life supporters, I hugged them with the tightest hug, looked them in the eye, and told them they always have supporters at school. I told them they are loved and cared for.
My hope, my only hope, my prayer, is that they will be reminded of this and will come to know a Love far greater than my own. A love that spared His one and only Son for them. A God who always is and always will be their greatest supporter.
Let it be.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Open Hands.
One of my favorite parts of the day is my drive to school. Outside it's quiet, still, dark, and filled with time to myself. Sometimes the music in my car is loud and I am singing along, other times my mind is loud, and still other times I find that I am just listening. Yesterday was a day of listening.
As I was driving I thought about situations at school, my Dad in the hospital (who is healing quickly - praise!), and the billions of dreams inside my head. All of which led me to a vision of open hands. Not my open hands, but the Lord's. His strong hands. I was reminded that not only does He take our right hand and go before us, with us, and after us, but He also holds all of life's situations IN His hands. So then free will came to mind. He gives us the right to choose freely - in all aspects of life - yet still His hands are open. The Holy Spirit led me to this conclusion - it takes an aspect of trust to really place all of life's situations in His hands. Do I really, truly trust all of my life in His hands? When my heart is hurting or worrying and I start to question or doubt, do I really, truly trust? So I grappled with these thoughts and came to another conclusion.
Why would I not?
His character embodies all things good. He is the way, the truth, the life. He says, "I AM" and that is enough. I want nothing more than to place all of my life into His hands because He is "I AM." He is perfect in power, love, grace, mercy, kindness, goodness, patience..."I AM." In this I trust.
Father God. You can have the things I doubt, the things I worry about, my hopes and dreams. You are perfect and I am humbled that You would care so much for each aspect of my life. I ask for Your desires to be traded with mine, that I would live humbly at the foot of Your cross, wanting nothing but to sit at Your feet in Your sweet Presence. Let my life be a pure reflection of You so that others could come to call You Father as well. In You I trust.
Amen.
As I was driving I thought about situations at school, my Dad in the hospital (who is healing quickly - praise!), and the billions of dreams inside my head. All of which led me to a vision of open hands. Not my open hands, but the Lord's. His strong hands. I was reminded that not only does He take our right hand and go before us, with us, and after us, but He also holds all of life's situations IN His hands. So then free will came to mind. He gives us the right to choose freely - in all aspects of life - yet still His hands are open. The Holy Spirit led me to this conclusion - it takes an aspect of trust to really place all of life's situations in His hands. Do I really, truly trust all of my life in His hands? When my heart is hurting or worrying and I start to question or doubt, do I really, truly trust? So I grappled with these thoughts and came to another conclusion.
Why would I not?
His character embodies all things good. He is the way, the truth, the life. He says, "I AM" and that is enough. I want nothing more than to place all of my life into His hands because He is "I AM." He is perfect in power, love, grace, mercy, kindness, goodness, patience..."I AM." In this I trust.
Father God. You can have the things I doubt, the things I worry about, my hopes and dreams. You are perfect and I am humbled that You would care so much for each aspect of my life. I ask for Your desires to be traded with mine, that I would live humbly at the foot of Your cross, wanting nothing but to sit at Your feet in Your sweet Presence. Let my life be a pure reflection of You so that others could come to call You Father as well. In You I trust.
Amen.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Madness
March. Madness.
Not only is it a beautiful season of basketball; at my school it is also a day of celebrating great behavior. A day filled with fun, games, and bag lunches. And madness it was.
From 7:45 AM to 4:20 PM. Madness. I was welcomed with a "lovely" email (please sense my sarcasm) from an unsatisfied parent who I have been nothing but kind to, watched and helped organize chaotic games throughout the morning (some of which were hilarious to watch), and was then met with unexpected news from my family. Madness. Pure Madness.
Yet, I am human and days like this happen. Our days are like shifting sands, yet our God is sovereign and steadfast in His character. He hears the multitude of prayers I pray daily and feels the tears I shed today in the corner of my classroom as my Mom told me my Dad was in the hospital. And who am I that He would be mindful of me? Wow. That'll rock your world - rocks mine just thinking about it.
He cares for the details. I know He will show up in love towards this unsatisfied parent, he shows His uniqueness in my little friend's faces, and He will provide my family with the healing, comfort, and peace that He offers. He will. My God will because He cares, always has and always will, for the details. He cared about the details of Moses' life as he led the Israelites and He cared for Abraham and his wife as they anxiously awaited a child. He cares about the details and in this I trust.
Thank goodness He is steadfast during days of madness.
Father God. Thank you for days of madness. Thank you for teaching me pure trust and a need to hand over the worry to You. Thank you for remaining steadfast and sovereign through it all. Thank you for loving me the same and calling me beloved. You are good, always are and always will be.
Amen.
Not only is it a beautiful season of basketball; at my school it is also a day of celebrating great behavior. A day filled with fun, games, and bag lunches. And madness it was.
From 7:45 AM to 4:20 PM. Madness. I was welcomed with a "lovely" email (please sense my sarcasm) from an unsatisfied parent who I have been nothing but kind to, watched and helped organize chaotic games throughout the morning (some of which were hilarious to watch), and was then met with unexpected news from my family. Madness. Pure Madness.
Yet, I am human and days like this happen. Our days are like shifting sands, yet our God is sovereign and steadfast in His character. He hears the multitude of prayers I pray daily and feels the tears I shed today in the corner of my classroom as my Mom told me my Dad was in the hospital. And who am I that He would be mindful of me? Wow. That'll rock your world - rocks mine just thinking about it.
He cares for the details. I know He will show up in love towards this unsatisfied parent, he shows His uniqueness in my little friend's faces, and He will provide my family with the healing, comfort, and peace that He offers. He will. My God will because He cares, always has and always will, for the details. He cared about the details of Moses' life as he led the Israelites and He cared for Abraham and his wife as they anxiously awaited a child. He cares about the details and in this I trust.
Thank goodness He is steadfast during days of madness.
Father God. Thank you for days of madness. Thank you for teaching me pure trust and a need to hand over the worry to You. Thank you for remaining steadfast and sovereign through it all. Thank you for loving me the same and calling me beloved. You are good, always are and always will be.
Amen.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
A year later.
Where to begin...
I am now a Multiage teacher - teaching Kindergarten, First, and Second grade and this is my niche. These friends, this age group, this is my passion. I love their innocence, their excitement for learning, and their funny laughs and quirks. They are called beloved. They are the Lord's delight and I get the pleasure of being with them every. single. day. Praise.
I wish I took the time to write down the funny things my little friends say and do - every day.
For instance, being in the middle of teaching math to my Kindergartners and seeing one of my girls take her boot off and begin spitting, not just a quick spit, but the slow drippy kinda spit, right into her shoe. Who does that?!
Another time during Social Studies I begin teaching and all of a sudden another teacher walked in the room holding a shoe by the laces. The owner of the shoe (a 5 year old) looked up at her and exclaimed, "Oh! That's my shoe!" Never mind the fact that he had just walked across the hallway and sat down on the carpet...and still did not realize he was wearing only one shoe. A day in the life of a kindergartner - so carefree and void of all worry.
So many other hilarious moments have happened this year. This season has been glorious. So full of compassion and faithfulness from a God that has not ever and will not ever change in His perfect character. Looking back, last year was filled with trial after trial after trial yet full of a strength and will to go on that was not my own. While this year has been glorious, there have still been times of testing. Each time the Lord proves faithful.
I remember a specific moment from last year when a 4th grader, in anger and in a thirst for attention, called me a name that screams all things negative. The mother of all cuss words. He was instantly written up and sent out of my room but my confidence as a teacher was shot. I had spent two days a week after school, for months, tutoring and pouring my heart and soul into loving this same child and had seen a totally different heart. He wanted to learn, was respectful, and kind to others. How could he lash out like this? What did I do wrong? These thoughts lingered and still linger if I really take the time to meditate on the situation. He yearned and still yearns for attention when I see him, now as a fifth grader, crying out for some sort of attention, most of the time it is negative.
Yet, he is just one.
He is just one child in my school crying out for attention. I know in his heart of hearts he, they, want to feel approval, unconditional love, and acceptance. If only he could internalize that he has these things so readily available to him in a God who came entering a town riding on a donkey. A God of peace and restoration.
Father God. Abba. Would you rock the world of this sweet school with a thickness of Your Presence? Cover these little friends and teachers with the knowledge that they are loved tremendously and use me as You wish. Father, let me walk in Your Light and let me not stray. Redeem these children in Your Name. Let Your will be done and let Heaven fall. Come, Lord Jesus, come. Heaven fall down.
Let it be.
I am now a Multiage teacher - teaching Kindergarten, First, and Second grade and this is my niche. These friends, this age group, this is my passion. I love their innocence, their excitement for learning, and their funny laughs and quirks. They are called beloved. They are the Lord's delight and I get the pleasure of being with them every. single. day. Praise.
I wish I took the time to write down the funny things my little friends say and do - every day.
For instance, being in the middle of teaching math to my Kindergartners and seeing one of my girls take her boot off and begin spitting, not just a quick spit, but the slow drippy kinda spit, right into her shoe. Who does that?!
Another time during Social Studies I begin teaching and all of a sudden another teacher walked in the room holding a shoe by the laces. The owner of the shoe (a 5 year old) looked up at her and exclaimed, "Oh! That's my shoe!" Never mind the fact that he had just walked across the hallway and sat down on the carpet...and still did not realize he was wearing only one shoe. A day in the life of a kindergartner - so carefree and void of all worry.
So many other hilarious moments have happened this year. This season has been glorious. So full of compassion and faithfulness from a God that has not ever and will not ever change in His perfect character. Looking back, last year was filled with trial after trial after trial yet full of a strength and will to go on that was not my own. While this year has been glorious, there have still been times of testing. Each time the Lord proves faithful.
I remember a specific moment from last year when a 4th grader, in anger and in a thirst for attention, called me a name that screams all things negative. The mother of all cuss words. He was instantly written up and sent out of my room but my confidence as a teacher was shot. I had spent two days a week after school, for months, tutoring and pouring my heart and soul into loving this same child and had seen a totally different heart. He wanted to learn, was respectful, and kind to others. How could he lash out like this? What did I do wrong? These thoughts lingered and still linger if I really take the time to meditate on the situation. He yearned and still yearns for attention when I see him, now as a fifth grader, crying out for some sort of attention, most of the time it is negative.
Yet, he is just one.
He is just one child in my school crying out for attention. I know in his heart of hearts he, they, want to feel approval, unconditional love, and acceptance. If only he could internalize that he has these things so readily available to him in a God who came entering a town riding on a donkey. A God of peace and restoration.
Father God. Abba. Would you rock the world of this sweet school with a thickness of Your Presence? Cover these little friends and teachers with the knowledge that they are loved tremendously and use me as You wish. Father, let me walk in Your Light and let me not stray. Redeem these children in Your Name. Let Your will be done and let Heaven fall. Come, Lord Jesus, come. Heaven fall down.
Let it be.
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